From that first moment I
think Tracy and I were in love, tho I think we both denied it (me
more and longer than him). We spent all the extra time we had
together, for the most part. Tracy worked afternoons, so after he
got off work he would come over and wake me up for a few hours,
then we would both go to sleep until I had to get up for work.
Maybe after the first 2
weeks we had been seeing each other, I got very ill. I am not one
for the hospitals and doctors, so I refused to go to the hospital
when he asked me too. From what I can remember of this time,
Tracy waited on me hand and foot. He would come over after work
and if I was sleeping he would crawl into bed careful not to wake
me. He would just lie there with me, holding me. And if I woke up
he would run to the store and get anything I needed.
During one of the evenings
he was at work, working later than usual (which was the norm at
that time due to shortages) my doorbell rang at about 11:00pm. I
drug myself out of bed (ps here, I had a head and chest cold,
coupled with broncuitis, we later found out). It was a buddy of
mine who was dating a man who lived across the street. He (yes I
said he, he's gay) wanted to see if I could give him a ride home,
cuz his ride went to sleep. He had no idea that I was sick and
this night had been the worst. As I told him if I didn't remind
myself to breath, I would stop breathing, yet I still refused to
go to the hospital. Well he worked in a nursing home and knew
that if I didn't get my butt to a doctor soon I was gonna be in
trouble. Also I lived alone and he was worried about me being
here by myself. He wanted me to come home with him and stay with
him and his roomate (who is also another friend of mine). I said
ok, so we paged one of my best friends, Jamie. Jamie had been all
over my ass about going to the doctors about this for quite
sometime, so on his way over to my house he came up with a little
plan. Once I got into the car, he locked the doors, threw on the
child locks and asked me which hospital I was going to. Well to
make a long story short I went. The next day Tracy thanked Jamie
for getting my stubborn ass to go.
At this point I should
have realized how much he cared for me and how much I cared for
him. But I didn't. I was afraid to get emotionally involved with
a man again. So afrter so thought I decided I was going to go to
my mothers to work some things out. My mother lives in Florida
and I live in Ohio. I had talked to Jamie the day before I left
and told him that I thought I was going to break it off with
Tracy when I got back.
We had a nice night
together and in the morning, I packed me, my dog and some clothes
in the car and off we went.
Space and Time To Think